Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize