So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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