I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize