Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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