I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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