You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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