Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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