In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize