Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize