There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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