Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize