i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize