Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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