remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize