today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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