we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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