he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize