So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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