This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize