Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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