you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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