Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize