we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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