My room smells like vodka and shame
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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