Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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