You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize