C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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