one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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