if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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