it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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