Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize