When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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