last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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