New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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