you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i would punch a child for taco bell
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize