Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize