I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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