I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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