i would punch a child for taco bell
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize