dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hope mine doesn't look like that
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize