ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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