This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize