i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize