I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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