Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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