I was born with a shot glass in my hand
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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