real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize