Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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