I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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