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absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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